Friday, May 25, 2007

Welcome Aboard

Welcome to my new blog. My old blog had a large following (larger than I even knew about), but my blogging grew cumbersome. I decided to start a new blog... and just write. If you like my writing, feel free to leave a comment. If you don't like my writing, go ahead and leave a comment as well. If you don't want to comment, that's fine too. Here's my first post:

When I was a young boy, my mother was a stay at home mom. She was always around. I think I learned valuable lessons from that, lessons that many children today never learn. I learned a very valuable lesson one particular day. I was playing in the dining room with our family dog. My mom was on the phone with a friend, and I was teasing the dog with a treat. I'd offer the treat to the dog, and then yank it away. Our dog would then bark and whine about it. My mother came into the dining room and scolded me a bit, "Quit teasing that dog!" As soon as she went into the other room, I resumed my entertaining activities (I never claimed to be the smartest man in the world).

Apparently, my mother was paying closer attention to what I was doing than I thought she was. She soon came bursting into the dining room, grabbed me by the arm, and took me over to the closet where The Paddle was kept. Doom. She retrieved The Paddle from the closet and went to work on my backside. In the middle of her paddling, she asked me, "Now, are you going to quit doing that?" I can't figure out what part of the paddling experience confused me, but I had it in my mind that she had asked me if I was going to DO it anymore, not if I'd stop. I, of course, said, "NO!" Being that my answer was the direct opposite of what I SHOULD have given, the paddling intensified. My poor little butt was probablly growing redder by the second. What to do?

I took my licks and, with quivering lip, made my way to my room. Our dog followed me. I felt compelled to kick the crap out of that was all her fault! Thankfully, I didn't give in to my misplaced desire. When I calmed down a bit, and saw the look in her eyes, I felt differently. She looked at me with the same love that she had when we were playing. My mother's whoopin' didn't have half of the effect that the look on that dog's face had. I learned a valuable lesson that day: Be very careful what you say to a parent while getting a whoopin', and dogs love us unconditionally. I miss that dog.

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